good fun

[kong]

The Dream and The Psychiatrist
===============================

I had the strangest dream last night," Morris was
telling his psychiatrist.

"I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me,
I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found
this very disturbing. In fact I woke up immediately, and
couldn't get back to sleep.

I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I
got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my
appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of
this strange dream."

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before
responding: "A Coke? That's a breakfast?"



Note: It took me a minute to get this joke.

[Clair]

so NOT laughing right now tbh

[The Brahama Bull]

so NOT laughing right now tbh

Same here

[kong]

all i can do is try...............heres another one


Go with God!
One day a manager of a sales company is interviewing a man who
wants to become an employee in the business. The manager is a
proud owner of a business that has been selling Bibles
successfully for 20 years. The owner receives the next guy into
the office and the interview begins.

Manager: Hello, I am the manager to Bibles Inc. Who are you and
why I should hire you?

Guy: M-m-m-y-y n-n-name i-i-i-i-is-s-s F-r-r-r-r-e-e-e-d.
I-i-i-i-i kn-kn-know I-i-i-i-i Stu-stu-stu-stu-tter
al-al-al-alot bu-bu-but pl-pl-pl-please ju-ju-ju-just gi-gi-give
me a-a-a ch-ch-ch-chance.

The Manager knew that this man would be just horrible at this
task in fact he himself felt uncomfortable in Fred's presence
wanting nearly to get rid of the man. So he thought of a way to
let Fred down without feeling too much guilt. The manager
thought and thought and finally gave in saying:

"Okay I'll give you one chance"

Fred went off with a dozen Bibles (twice as much as the average
salesman sells) with an air of confidence around him. The
manager looked on as Fred went on thinking "poor kid."

That night Fred returns and the manager promptly asks him how it went. Fred beams and shows that every bible is gone. The
manager now with a look of astonishment on his face assumes that
they must have all been stolen. When he asks Fred if they had
been stolen, Fred shakes his head in a negative response. The
manager realizes that they must have ALL been sold. Astounded,
the Manager asks:

"How in the Hell did you sell all these Bibles?"

Fred: "We-we-we-we-well I-i-i-i t-t-t-told th-th-them
th-th-th-that if th-th-they did not wa-wa-want to buy
an-an-an-any. I-i-i-i cou-cou-cou-could re-re-read it t-t-to
th-th-them.

[Clair]

that's worse than the first one tbh

[kong]

at least I'm consistant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how about this one
A Woman who loved Baked Beans
Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved
them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would
marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this
carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car
broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband
and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a
small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still
had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached
home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders
of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably
sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,
"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her
chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from
his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned.
He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and
the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized
the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her
napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the
conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone
farewells signalled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin,
placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the
picture of innocence when her husband returned, and apologising for taking so long, he asked
her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised. There were twelve dinner guests
seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!

[Clair]

omg some one give me a hammer to stop Kong NOW!! They are getting worse

[Oldschool]

RUN Kong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kong]

thats not the kind of "Hammered" I'm into