MY resume

[Illuminati]

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
- but I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
- but I just couldn't hack it, - so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor,
- but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
- but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef
- figured it would add alittle spice to my life, - but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker,
- but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician,
- but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
- but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
I tried - but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
- but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,
- but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,
- but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I Finally got a job as a Historian
- until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,
- but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT
- I FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!