fucked up laws! (who the hell thinks of this shit)

[Illuminati]

post stupid laws here!

[Joker]

Here's a few from my home state of Alabama.

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.

The most screwed up law in my opinion:

Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

[Dee]

In Virginia, it is illegal to tickle women.

[Illuminati]

In Virginia, it is illegal to tickle women.

:weird: if only it was illegal to tickle here... i hate being tickled

[Joker]

Chicago, Illinois

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

Gee, I wonder why. lol

[Dee]

Waynesboro, Virginia:
It is illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.

[Joker]

Texas State Law

When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

This would mean that both trains would be permanently stopped.

[Dee]

Chico, California:
It is illegal to plant a garden in any public street.

My reaction to this:
How the hell? I bet it went like this... "I was walking down the street one day... I thought 'I wanna plant a garden..' So I planted one right then and there!!! Those fools arrested me for it too..."....
Seriously? Wtf.

[Trey Union]

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.


Take advantage of that one. Lol.


I found one in Auburn, Alabama:

No person may spit on the floor of a church.


/facepalm


NOOOO, REALLY?


And some from my homestate:

Persons may not be drunk on trains.

It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.

Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.

No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison. (This one is my favorite.)

The last Sunday in June of every year was named "log cabin day".

Cars may not be sold on Sunday.

A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state. (Repealed, 2006)

It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

You may not swear in front of women and children. (Repealed, 2002)

Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

[Joker]

Rhode Island

Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.

Does this mean that Peter and Lois Griffin are not really married?

Alaska

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It doesn't matter when the bear kills you.

[kong]

ALABAMA
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. [NOT EVEN ON HALLOWEEN?]

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind. [ESPEC IF YOU ARE FACING INTO THE WIND]

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. [OFFICER, I WAS PLAYING PIN THE BUMPER ON THE DONKEY]

ALASKA
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. [HOW ABOUT A DEAD ONE?]

No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car. [BUT OFFICER IF I DON'T HE WILL FALL OFF]

ARIZONA
Hunting camels is prohibited. [DAMN, I HAD A DOUBLE HUMPER IN MY SIGHTS]

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.[NO WONDER KANE MOVED]

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. [MADAM, KINDLY REMOVE YOUR ASS FROM THE TUB!!!!!!!!!!!!]

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. [AND IF HE IS HITTING ME WITH HIS FIST?]

You may not have more than two dildos in a house. [NOW THATS ONE COURT CASE I WANT TO SEE!]

No more than six girls may live in any house. [MAKES FOR SMALL SORORITY HOUSES]

No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house. [MAKES SENSE, TOO MANY HORSES ASSES IN COURT ALREADY]

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling. [HEY MICK, STAY OUT OF ARIZONIA}

Women may not wear pants. [HEY LADY, YOU HEARD ME..........DROP THOSE DRAWERS!!!!!!!]

[kong]

Arkansas
The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock. [ALLRIGHT, WHO'S GOING TO ENFORCE THIS ONE}

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. [CLAIR, WE NEED TO SEND SOME CATTLE PRODS TO ARKANSAS]

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs. 9THEY SCARE THE DONKEYS}

It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday. [BUT HES NOT HOUSE BROKEN YET!]

Dogs may not bark after 6 PM. [BUT THERES AN ALLIGATOR AND A DONKEY IN MY TUB!]

It is illegal to kill “any living creature”. [BACK AWAY FROM THE FLY SWATTER]

[Joker]

Alabama

Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

Tell the families of the train victims I'm sorry.

[kong]

punishable by death only if the train hits you while doing It...........OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kong]

CALIFORNIA
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. [DO CRASH DUMMIES COUNT?]

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. [CANCEL THE ORDER FOR THE BALLOON TIRES]

City Council order reads: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. [WHO WEARS THE LEASH?]

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows. [CAN YOU RENT THEM?]

Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law. [[UNLESS YOUR NAME IS JOHN WAYNE]

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. [YOU ANIMAL, YOU]

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways. [WHICH WAS ESPECIALLY HARD IF YOU WORKED AT NBC STUDIOS]

It is prohibited to sleep in a parked vehicle. [BUT OFFICER, I WAS DRIVING VERY SLOWLY}

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide. [EVEN ALLIGATOR?]

[Oldschool]

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide. [EVEN ALLIGATOR?]

What if you are the animal who was born with it!!!!!!!!!

[Joker]

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide. [EVEN ALLIGATOR?]

What if you are the animal who was born with it!!!!!!!!!

lol good point.

[Dee]

Driving a herd of cattle down a street is against the law. [[UNLESS YOUR NAME IS JOHN WAYNE]

This one made me laugh SO hard. This thread does some good.

[The Brahama Bull]

In Calgary there is a by-law that is still on the books that requires businesses within the city to provide rails for tying up horses.

[Dee]

LOL!!! Oh my...

[The Brahama Bull]

In Sweden, prostitution is legal but it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute.

[Joker]

I'm just curious, Are you guys using dumblaws.com. I just asked because that's what I'm using. lol

Canada

Comic books which depict any illegal acts are banned.

Say goodbye to any Batman comics.

[The Brahama Bull]

No I didn't I used www.thefoolsday.com/silly-laws.html (http://www.thefoolsday.com/silly-laws.html)

In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear.

[Dee]

Good thing I don't live there...

[The Brahama Bull]

Good thing I don't live there...

All I can say to that is

DAMN!

[Joker]

Arizona

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

[Just when I was going to deface a cactus with my visage while dressed up in my former Red Hood persona]

[The Brahama Bull]

It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands (Saskatoon.)

[kong]

Alabama

You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant. [the dogs are peeing on them?]

Peanuts are not allowed to be sold in Lee County, Alabama after sunset on Wednesdays. [there has to be one strange story to cause this law!]

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time. [damn, I'm just glad they didn't catch me with that double scoop]


Alaska

You can't look at a moose from an aeroplane. [quick, close your eyes]

Kangaroos are not allowed in barber shops at any time [you can't shut them up]

It is State Policy that all emergencies are held to a minimum [to a minimum what?]

Arkansas

It is illegal to mispronounce Arkansas while in Arkansas [that's 30 days, stranger]

California

It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub [alright!!!!!!!!!!! who's watching?]

A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits [that cuts down on the 4th of july fireworks!]

Colorado:

It is illegal to let your cat run loose in Denver unless it has a taillight. [hold the cat hon, i stick the flashlight up it's butt]

It is illegal to drive a black car on Sunday in Denver [but officer, it's dark blue!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

[kong]

Florida:

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown [they'll arrest half the population of key west]

In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal [but people are animals!!!!!!!!]

It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6:00pm on a Thursday [hold it in, dammmit honey]

It is illegal to have sexual intercourse with a porcupine [talk about kinky, .........but honey, it's acupuncture!!!!!]

It is illegal for a woman to bungie jump naked on Sunday before midday [that explains all the black-eyed woman around 1:00 pm]


Hawaii:

In Hawaii you will be fined if you do not own a boat [great tourist gimmick]

Illinois

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets. [they have to light their own]

It is illegal to eat in a restaurant if it is on fire [but it's a barbarque]

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. [damn, I've always wanted to do that]

One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth [but she said she ddn't have a drink in weeks}

The English language is not to be spoken [??????????????????????????]

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits [who wrote this one??????????]

It is considered an offense to attempt to have sex with one's dog. [I'm just speechless]

Cars may not be driven through the town [get out and PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. [your honor, his pecker was cocked and loaded]

on that note i'm outta here!!!!!!

[The Brahama Bull]

In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.

[Oldschool]

Illegal to bike without hands!


When riding a bicycle you must have your hands on the handlebar.

Section 10.32.020 Manner of operation restricted.



No bicycle shall be allowed to proceed in any street in the city by inertia or momentum with the feet of the rider removed from the bicycle pedals. No rider of a bicycle shall remove both hands from the handlebars or practice any trick or fancy riding in any street in the city nor shall any bicycle rider carry or ride any other person so that two persons are on the bicycle at one time, unless a seat is provided for a second person.

(Prior code 10-2-2)

[The Brahama Bull]

Different states of the United States have some unique yet foolish and eccentric laws of their own. In Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death and keeping an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time is a crime. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets. In Alaska, you may hunt a bear safely but it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities

[Oldschool]

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.


Moose are allowed to do anything they want!!!!!!!! Would you want to try to stop them?

[kong]

Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets. ..........if they get a room who pays for it?

[Joker]

In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.

If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down. XD

[The Brahama Bull]

LOL Joker you evil minded person you have learned well from the amigos

[Oldschool]

lol, are we a good influence?

[Joker]

I actually learned that from the movie Meet the Fockers.

Connecticut

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
[I love my cheeseburgers with pickles. Burger King restaurants here will ruin my burger]

[Trey Union]

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

Wait... what? It has to bounce? So, even after the pickle process, it has to bounce to be pronounced a pickle? Avoiding all national laws... wow.

[Oldschool]

I wonder how many pickles are tested for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Joker]

Connecticut

It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
[I hope the cops like a good ol' necrotizing infection.]

Hartford

You may not educate dogs.
[Quick Rover! Play dead!]

It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.


You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
[Really?]

[B]Colorado

One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
[How is this possible?]

Alamosa

Throwing missiles at cars is illegal.
[How is actually throwing a missile possible?]

Logan County

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
[What if you're married to her?]

Pueblo

It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
[I'd like to see then try to enforce this.]

Sterling

Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
[The cat will hate you forever but it's the law.]

Durango

It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes “unbecoming” on one’s sex.
[Bill! Take off the sundress now!]

[The Brahama Bull]

Here's some crazy Canadian laws

It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlor in (Alberta.)


It is unlawful to throw snowballs or set off firecrackers within the city, without the authorization of the mayor or City Council. (Calgary)


All bicycle riders must signal with the arm before making a turn, and a bicycle rider must keep both hands on the handlebars at all times" ( Edmonton.)


In Canada, It is illegal for a teen to walk down main street with their shoes untied. (Fort Qu'Appelle)


It is illegal to try and catch fish with your hands (Saskatoon.)


You are not allowed to saw wood on the streets, or wash your automobile in (Toronto.)


Theater owners are forbidden to start a movie that will end after 2 am. (Toronto.)


You are not allowed to play a musical instrument in a park in (Windsor, Ontario)


A by-law forbids anyone from striking the sidewalk with a metal object (Winnipeg)


It is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up.
(Winnipeg)

[Trey Union]

All bicycle riders must signal with the arm before making a turn, and a bicycle rider must keep both hands on the handlebars at all times" ( Edmonton.)


Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is...

[kong]

Sterling

Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
[The cat will hate you forever but it's the law.]
[I do not to change the batteries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

http://imagetag.co.uk//uploads/1/625.jpg

[Oldschool]

All bicycle riders must signal with the arm before making a turn, and a bicycle rider must keep both hands on the handlebars at all times" ( Edmonton.)

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner is...

lol!!! Just never make a turn I guess!!!!!!!!!!!!!