Oldschool
12-01-2009, 12:14 PM
Third Degree Byrnes - In Bod-y We Trust
Posted by David Byrnes on 11/24/2009 at 10:56 AM
Dear readers, you will know by now that this iconic writer is somewhat harsh on the piss-poor WWE product at times. You will know that it's a true struggle for this writer to sit through Raw or Smackdown without questioning exactly why I still watch the WWE. However, a miracle occoured last night on Raw. A miracle so exciting and so rare in modern wrestling that it ranks above the birth of Christ himself...Raw was actually good! I know, I was shocked too. I awoke this morning thinking it was a beautiful dream, but to my surprise it was true. Raw was both enjoyable and watchable, which hasn't been the case for some 3 year's or so now. This is all thank's to one man, Jesse 'The Body' Ventura...who was looking somewhat David Carradine-esque. I had high hope's going into this, but was somewhat wary after the let down that was Roddy Piper's guest host spot. Unlike last week, this was everything I expected and so, so much more. Yes, the three hour special was indeed worth watching. The 'Breakthrough' format was an interesting one and I'am pleased that they spread it out over three hours with all wrestlers, instead of the usual main eventer's dominating. I was a tad surprised that they decided to push Sheamus straight to the top. In my opinion, it's a mistake and too soon for 'The Fiery Milk Bottle'. The man is more mechanical than John Cena, it's as if he has a checklist of move's and the order in which he is to perform. That may or may not be his fault but still, freshen it up...it's a bad sign when your inring performance is stale at this early stage.
Sticking with Raw, was it just me or was Shawn Michaels REALLY looking his age last night. The man looked ravaged, with hair that even Terry Funk would laugh at! I know he's getting on in his year's but is it time for a revamp of HBK? Simple answer is no, because that's like wishing for John Cena to throw a decent looking punch...never going to happen. I really am getting tired of 'Dull-X' (see what I did there). It really is tame stuff, even when they're meant to be sneaking the odd 'insider joke' or two. I know it's because of the time's we're in, but still, look at DX of today and compare it to the D-Generation X of the late 90's...sad stuff.
I'am beginning to worry about the Raw roster, just as it seem's to be gaining ground on Smackdown it stalls, crashes and breaks out in fire. It would appear that the roster has become large for it to support itself. Granted, Kofi Kingston is getting a well deserved push and is showing exactly why he deserves it, the rest of the roster seems to be in limbo. Jack Swagger, MVP, Evan Bourne, Carlito, Primo and even Legacy have lost their way. With the state of the WWE, this should be HIGH on their agenda. The lack of interest and idea's on WWE's part when it comes to its younger star's is ridiculous. Instead of focusing their attention on this, it would seem that WWE has it's eye firmly set on Mr. Merchandise, the child friendly rapper with childlike abilities, John Cena. After pointing out his last set of merchandise was akin to John Deere dressing head to toe in John Deere colours, WWE have now made Cena's latest range of arse the colour of Terry's Chocolate Orange.
"New Material", if found please return to CM Punk. Yes, it's the man many are praising as WWE's top heel, a new approach to a heel character. I see him as simply getting lucky. The more I watch CM Punk, the more I start to question what exactly is meant to be unique about him, and yes I'm well aware of the 'Straight Edge' gimmick before all of you start whinging. I mean unique as ring work, I mean unique in terms of mic work. You start to study his work and it is fairly dull. Like Sheamus and his in ring work, CM Punk must have a checklist of what to say and the order. It's the same jargon week in and week out. It's as if he's meant to be a "mean" version of the Mr. Mackey character from South Park...drugs are bad, umkay.
Moving onto Smackdown and I apologise as this may be my fault. Several week's ago I said that Smackdown is indeed a great show, but I do hope it doesn't fall down the usual slippery slope. Well, it hasn't fallen down the slippery slope, it's thrown itself down the slope head first whilst laughing like a loon. Last week's Smackdown was like squeezing out loose arse sauce after a night on the Pear Bulmers, unpleasant and worrying. Drew McIntyre still hasn't done anything to show why exactly he is recieving such a huge push, that and the man really need's to find a unique look. At the moment, McIntyre is looking like a taller version of Stevie Richards (ECW days). Speaking of unwarranted pushes, Dolph 'The One Billy Gunn' Ziggler, is still in the Intercontinental Championship title frame. I really do feel for Morrison having to wrestle a man as talented as Jim Duggans 4x4...actually,scratch that, the 4x4 was actually over. To be honest, Ziggler should go back to his Spirit Squad days, had some pretty decent dance moves too!
So, yet another mixed bag from the WWE this week. Raw continues to slowly get it right, whereas Smackdown hurtles towards the pointy spikes. For those of you wondering about my thoughts on the Survivor Series, well, I have none! To be honest I didn't bother getting it because I already knew what was going to happen. It's a sad state of affairs when going into one of 'The Big Four' PPV's of the year and knowing match for match what the outcome would be. But, Survivor Series does tend to be like that. The past few year's the Series (along with Summerslam) has become yet another PPV. Maybe it's because Bragging Rights was so close and had the ame kind of format (Team vs Team, Brand vs Brand) that yet again I found myself going 'meh' to yet another WWE product. Nevermind CM Punk needing new material, WWE desperately needs it, on an IV Drip.
As always folks, you can catch me on Twitter at 'Barn85'.
Posted by David Byrnes on 11/24/2009 at 10:56 AM
Dear readers, you will know by now that this iconic writer is somewhat harsh on the piss-poor WWE product at times. You will know that it's a true struggle for this writer to sit through Raw or Smackdown without questioning exactly why I still watch the WWE. However, a miracle occoured last night on Raw. A miracle so exciting and so rare in modern wrestling that it ranks above the birth of Christ himself...Raw was actually good! I know, I was shocked too. I awoke this morning thinking it was a beautiful dream, but to my surprise it was true. Raw was both enjoyable and watchable, which hasn't been the case for some 3 year's or so now. This is all thank's to one man, Jesse 'The Body' Ventura...who was looking somewhat David Carradine-esque. I had high hope's going into this, but was somewhat wary after the let down that was Roddy Piper's guest host spot. Unlike last week, this was everything I expected and so, so much more. Yes, the three hour special was indeed worth watching. The 'Breakthrough' format was an interesting one and I'am pleased that they spread it out over three hours with all wrestlers, instead of the usual main eventer's dominating. I was a tad surprised that they decided to push Sheamus straight to the top. In my opinion, it's a mistake and too soon for 'The Fiery Milk Bottle'. The man is more mechanical than John Cena, it's as if he has a checklist of move's and the order in which he is to perform. That may or may not be his fault but still, freshen it up...it's a bad sign when your inring performance is stale at this early stage.
Sticking with Raw, was it just me or was Shawn Michaels REALLY looking his age last night. The man looked ravaged, with hair that even Terry Funk would laugh at! I know he's getting on in his year's but is it time for a revamp of HBK? Simple answer is no, because that's like wishing for John Cena to throw a decent looking punch...never going to happen. I really am getting tired of 'Dull-X' (see what I did there). It really is tame stuff, even when they're meant to be sneaking the odd 'insider joke' or two. I know it's because of the time's we're in, but still, look at DX of today and compare it to the D-Generation X of the late 90's...sad stuff.
I'am beginning to worry about the Raw roster, just as it seem's to be gaining ground on Smackdown it stalls, crashes and breaks out in fire. It would appear that the roster has become large for it to support itself. Granted, Kofi Kingston is getting a well deserved push and is showing exactly why he deserves it, the rest of the roster seems to be in limbo. Jack Swagger, MVP, Evan Bourne, Carlito, Primo and even Legacy have lost their way. With the state of the WWE, this should be HIGH on their agenda. The lack of interest and idea's on WWE's part when it comes to its younger star's is ridiculous. Instead of focusing their attention on this, it would seem that WWE has it's eye firmly set on Mr. Merchandise, the child friendly rapper with childlike abilities, John Cena. After pointing out his last set of merchandise was akin to John Deere dressing head to toe in John Deere colours, WWE have now made Cena's latest range of arse the colour of Terry's Chocolate Orange.
"New Material", if found please return to CM Punk. Yes, it's the man many are praising as WWE's top heel, a new approach to a heel character. I see him as simply getting lucky. The more I watch CM Punk, the more I start to question what exactly is meant to be unique about him, and yes I'm well aware of the 'Straight Edge' gimmick before all of you start whinging. I mean unique as ring work, I mean unique in terms of mic work. You start to study his work and it is fairly dull. Like Sheamus and his in ring work, CM Punk must have a checklist of what to say and the order. It's the same jargon week in and week out. It's as if he's meant to be a "mean" version of the Mr. Mackey character from South Park...drugs are bad, umkay.
Moving onto Smackdown and I apologise as this may be my fault. Several week's ago I said that Smackdown is indeed a great show, but I do hope it doesn't fall down the usual slippery slope. Well, it hasn't fallen down the slippery slope, it's thrown itself down the slope head first whilst laughing like a loon. Last week's Smackdown was like squeezing out loose arse sauce after a night on the Pear Bulmers, unpleasant and worrying. Drew McIntyre still hasn't done anything to show why exactly he is recieving such a huge push, that and the man really need's to find a unique look. At the moment, McIntyre is looking like a taller version of Stevie Richards (ECW days). Speaking of unwarranted pushes, Dolph 'The One Billy Gunn' Ziggler, is still in the Intercontinental Championship title frame. I really do feel for Morrison having to wrestle a man as talented as Jim Duggans 4x4...actually,scratch that, the 4x4 was actually over. To be honest, Ziggler should go back to his Spirit Squad days, had some pretty decent dance moves too!
So, yet another mixed bag from the WWE this week. Raw continues to slowly get it right, whereas Smackdown hurtles towards the pointy spikes. For those of you wondering about my thoughts on the Survivor Series, well, I have none! To be honest I didn't bother getting it because I already knew what was going to happen. It's a sad state of affairs when going into one of 'The Big Four' PPV's of the year and knowing match for match what the outcome would be. But, Survivor Series does tend to be like that. The past few year's the Series (along with Summerslam) has become yet another PPV. Maybe it's because Bragging Rights was so close and had the ame kind of format (Team vs Team, Brand vs Brand) that yet again I found myself going 'meh' to yet another WWE product. Nevermind CM Punk needing new material, WWE desperately needs it, on an IV Drip.
As always folks, you can catch me on Twitter at 'Barn85'.